Habits: Recognize, Contain, Choose, Transform

Embracing and Transforming Habits with Positivity

Habits are powerful engines that drive much of our daily behavior. They are the unspoken guides that shape our actions, often operating below conscious thought. From brushing our teeth in the morning to how we respond to stress, habits gracefully weave through our lives. But why do we have them, and how do they work?

Why We Have Habits

Forming habits is an example of our brain's need for efficiency. Our brains are designed to conserve energy and streamline processes. Imagine the joy of seamlessly performing routine tasks without needing deliberate thought. Habits emerge as the brain's elegant solution to this need. They create mental shortcuts, allowing us to perform daily activities without much attention.

Habits are also deeply intertwined with our journey of survival and adaptation. In evolutionary terms, the ability to develop habits enabled our ancestors to respond swiftly to environmental cues, ensuring their well-being. While the threats are different today, the evolutionary wiring remains. Our habits help us navigate the complexities of modern life predictably. They are essential to our safety.

How Habits Work

To understand how habits work, it's essential to delve into the habit loop, a concept popularized by Charles Duhigg in his book "The Power of Habit." The habit loop consists of three primary components: cue, routine, and reward.

The Cue

The cue is the gentle nudge that initiates the habit. It can be anything from a specific time of day to an emotional state or a particular location. For example, the sound of your alarm clock in the morning might cue the delightful habit of checking your phone.

The Routine

The routine is the behavior, the action you take in response to the cue. This could be savoring a cup of coffee, enjoying a refreshing run, or finding comfort in a familiar activity. The routine is the most visible and enjoyable part of the habit loop.

The Reward

The reward is the sweet benefit you gain from performing the routine. It’s what makes the habit worthwhile and reinforces its repetition. Rewards can be as simple as the satisfaction of a tidy space or the invigorating endorphin rush from exercise.

Recognizing and Naming the Habit

The first step in changing a habit is to recognize it. This might seem straightforward, but it's often the most enlightening part. By their very nature, habits are automatic and can be deeply ingrained. Bringing them into conscious awareness requires mindfulness and a joyful curiosity.

Once you've recognized the habit, the next step is to name it. Naming the habit gives it a form and makes it concrete. It transforms an abstract pattern of behavior into something you can see and address. For instance, instead of vaguely acknowledging you have a "bad habit," you might name it "stress-eating."

Naming the habit also involves acknowledging its positive role in your life. Every habit, no matter how detrimental, serves some purpose. It might provide comfort, distraction, or a sense of control. Understanding this can help you approach the habit with compassion and gratitude.

Containing the Habit

Once you've recognized and named the habit, the next step is to contain it. Containment doesn't mean suppression or denial. Instead, it involves creating a gentle mental space around the habit, allowing you to observe it without being swept away by it. It also allows you to see the many pieces of the habit and the interconnected web of its structure within our lives. This can be achieved through mindfulness, journaling, thoughtful conversations, and quiet analysis.

Containing the habit also involves setting loving boundaries. This could mean limiting the contexts in which the habit occurs or reducing its frequency. For instance, if your habit is checking social media incessantly, you might set specific times of the day for this activity. This also means beginning to see where the triggers lie.  They are often much further away from the habit that we think!

I remember learning this from my primary Alexander Technique Teacher, Marsha Paludan.  I came in for one of my early lessons with my clarinet, the first time I had played for her. As she was working with me, a great deal of tension was released throughout my whole body.  I commented, “I didn’t even realize that tension was there; I don’t remember it starting.”  She replied, "That’s because the tension began when you decided to bring your clarinet to this lesson.”

Choosing a New Habit

With the habit recognized, named, and contained, the stage is set for a transformation. This is where you choose to do something different. The key to successful habit change is replacing the old habit with a new, more beneficial one rather than trying to eliminate it.

The new habit should ideally offer a similar reward to the old one. For example, if the old habit is stress-eating, the new habit might be going for a refreshing walk or practicing calming deep breathing exercises. The goal is to fulfill the same need more healthily.  The habit should also be built around behavior rather than outcome. “I wish to be a secure musician on stage” vs. “I want to practice 3 hours daily.”

Strengthening the New Habit

Changing a habit is not a one-time event but an ongoing, curious process. Each time you notice the need to use the old habit and choose the new one instead, you are strengthening the new habit. This process is known as reinforcement. This is also true when you notice that you are already doing the old habit.  You can pause here and change course without judgment or criticism.

Reinforcement relies on consistency and repetition. The more often you perform the new habit in response to the cue, the stronger it becomes. The more opportunities to choose a new habit, the stronger it becomes. Thus, noticing how often you do the old habit is an important and advantageous part of the process. Over time, the new habit gradually replaces the old one.

It's essential to be gentle with yourself during this process. Habits are deeply tied to our sense of identity and self-worth, and many of us have devoted intense hours to creating them. Changing them can evoke feelings of discomfort and resistance. Acknowledging these emotions and treating yourself with kindness, patience, and compassion is crucial.

Recognize that setbacks are part of the journey. There will be times when you revert to the old habit. Rather than seeing these moments as failures, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Each setback strengthens the new habits by providing insight into the habit loop and refinement in your approach.

The Gentle Art of Self-Compassion

The habit change journey is as much about self-discovery as it is about behavior modification. It's an opportunity to understand yourself better and cultivate a more profound sense of self-compassion and love.

Self-compassion involves acknowledging your humanity and accepting that imperfection is part of the human experience. It means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a dear friend or student in a similar situation.

As you work to change your habits, remember to celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward, each moment of choosing the new habit over the old one, is a victory. Recognizing and honoring these moments reinforces your commitment to change and builds the resilience needed to continue on your path.

Throughout this journey, self-compassion is essential. It enables us to navigate the challenges of habit change with kindness and patience, fostering a more profound sense of self-worth and empowerment.

Embrace the process of habit change as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. With dedication and compassion, you can transform your habits, life, and work.Embracing and Transforming Habits with Positivity

Habits are powerful engines that drive much of our daily behavior. They are the unspoken guides that shape our actions, often operating below conscious thought. From brushing our teeth in the morning to how we respond to stress, habits gracefully weave through our lives. But why do we have them, and how do they work?

Why We Have Habits

Forming habits is an example of our brain's need for efficiency. Our brains are designed to conserve energy and streamline processes. Imagine the joy of seamlessly performing routine tasks without needing deliberate thought. Habits emerge as the brain's elegant solution to this need. They create mental shortcuts, allowing us to perform daily activities without much attention.

Habits are also deeply intertwined with our journey of survival and adaptation. In evolutionary terms, the ability to develop habits enabled our ancestors to respond swiftly to environmental cues, ensuring their well-being. While the threats are different today, the evolutionary wiring remains. Our habits help us navigate the complexities of modern life predictably. They are essential to our safety.

How Habits Work

To understand how habits work, it's essential to delve into the habit loop, a concept popularized by Charles Duhigg in his book "The Power of Habit." The habit loop consists of three primary components: cue, routine, and reward.

The Cue

The cue is the gentle nudge that initiates the habit. It can be anything from a specific time of day to an emotional state or a particular location. For example, the sound of your alarm clock in the morning might cue the delightful habit of checking your phone.

The Routine

The routine is the behavior, the action you take in response to the cue. This could be savoring a cup of coffee, enjoying a refreshing run, or finding comfort in a familiar activity. The routine is the most visible and enjoyable part of the habit loop.

The Reward

The reward is the sweet benefit you gain from performing the routine. It’s what makes the habit worthwhile and reinforces its repetition. Rewards can be as simple as the satisfaction of a tidy space or the invigorating endorphin rush from exercise.

Recognizing and Naming the Habit

The first step in changing a habit is to recognize it. This might seem straightforward, but it's often the most enlightening part. By their very nature, habits are automatic and can be deeply ingrained. Bringing them into conscious awareness requires mindfulness and a joyful curiosity.

Once you've recognized the habit, the next step is to name it. Naming the habit gives it a form and makes it concrete. It transforms an abstract pattern of behavior into something you can see and address. For instance, instead of vaguely acknowledging you have a "bad habit," you might name it "stress-eating."

Naming the habit also involves acknowledging its positive role in your life. Every habit, no matter how detrimental, serves some purpose. It might provide comfort, distraction, or a sense of control. Understanding this can help you approach the habit with compassion and gratitude.

Containing the Habit

Once you've recognized and named the habit, the next step is to contain it. Containment doesn't mean suppression or denial. Instead, it involves creating a gentle mental space around the habit, allowing you to observe it without being swept away by it. It also allows you to see the many pieces of the habit and the interconnected web of its structure within our lives. This can be achieved through mindfulness, journaling, thoughtful conversations, and quiet analysis.

Containing the habit also involves setting loving boundaries. This could mean limiting the contexts in which the habit occurs or reducing its frequency. For instance, if your habit is checking social media incessantly, you might set specific times of the day for this activity. This also means beginning to see where the triggers lie.  They are often much further away from the habit that we think!

I remember learning this from my primary Alexander Technique Teacher, Marsha Paludan.  I came in for one of my early lessons with my clarinet, the first time I had played for her. As she was working with me, a great deal of tension was released throughout my whole body.  I commented, “I didn’t even realize that tension was there; I don’t remember it starting.”  She replied, "That’s because the tension began when you decided to bring your clarinet to this lesson.”

Choosing a New Habit

With the habit recognized, named, and contained, the stage is set for a transformation. This is where you choose to do something different. The key to successful habit change is replacing the old habit with a new, more beneficial one rather than trying to eliminate it.

The new habit should ideally offer a similar reward to the old one. For example, if the old habit is stress-eating, the new habit might be going for a refreshing walk or practicing calming deep breathing exercises. The goal is to fulfill the same need more healthily.  The habit should also be built around behavior rather than outcome. “I wish to be a secure musician on stage” vs. “I want to practice 3 hours daily.”

Strengthening the New Habit

Changing a habit is not a one-time event but an ongoing, curious process. Each time you notice the need to use the old habit and choose the new one instead, you are strengthening the new habit. This process is known as reinforcement. This is also true when you notice that you are already doing the old habit.  You can pause here and change course without judgment or criticism.

Reinforcement relies on consistency and repetition. The more often you perform the new habit in response to the cue, the stronger it becomes. The more opportunities to choose a new habit, the stronger it becomes. Thus, noticing how often you do the old habit is an important and advantageous part of the process. Over time, the new habit gradually replaces the old one.

It's essential to be gentle with yourself during this process. Habits are deeply tied to our sense of identity and self-worth, and many of us have devoted intense hours to creating them. Changing them can evoke feelings of discomfort and resistance. Acknowledging these emotions and treating yourself with kindness, patience, and compassion is crucial.

Recognize that setbacks are part of the journey. There will be times when you revert to the old habit. Rather than seeing these moments as failures, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Each setback strengthens the new habits by providing insight into the habit loop and refinement in your approach.

The Gentle Art of Self-Compassion

The habit change journey is as much about self-discovery as it is about behavior modification. It's an opportunity to understand yourself better and cultivate a more profound sense of self-compassion and love.

Self-compassion involves acknowledging your humanity and accepting that imperfection is part of the human experience. It means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a dear friend or student in a similar situation.

As you work to change your habits, remember to celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each step forward, each moment of choosing the new habit over the old one, is a victory. Recognizing and honoring these moments reinforces your commitment to change and builds the resilience needed to continue on your path.

Throughout this journey, self-compassion is essential. It enables us to navigate the challenges of habit change with kindness and patience, fostering a more profound sense of self-worth and empowerment.

Embrace the process of habit change as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. With dedication and compassion, you can transform your habits, life, and work.